Relaxed and Anxious

Yesterday the fam and I returned from a well-deserved, long-overdue trip to the coast.  South Padre island is beautiful, especially this time of year.  And, there is hardly anyone else there. We practically had the beach to ourselves, which was awesome, and it was almost fall-like, with highs in the 90’s (couldn’t resist the typical, “it’s really frickin’ hot in Texas joke).  Friday we spent all day on the beach, the girls played in the sand and waves, I got my usual sunburn… it was nice and relaxing.

It’s been a while since we have had a chance to get in some QT just the four of us, and while I really enjoyed it, I had a hard time leaving work behind.  Right before we left, a meeting was scheduled for Monday that unfortunately meant that there was a lot of work to do in a short time, and I had to hand off quite a bit to a coworker.  Which a) made me feel guilty, and b) had me working, reviewing documents, checking and answering my email non-stop from the beach.  Ordinarily I would feel ready for the meeting, but I am super anxious for tomorrow since I wasn’t involved in every detail of the final preparation.

But what’s really bothering me are these little thoughts: “Why couldn’t I leave work behind?”  “Why couldn’t I allow myself to be fully present in the moment with my husband and daughters?”

I’m big on personal boundaries; I can’t stand it when someone is in my “circle of space” (the radius of space within an arms length), or when people ask me something that I consider to be personal.  And I try to observe other’s personal boundaries as well.

I’ve heard it said that work will take as much of you as you allow it, and that you are responsible for setting that boundary.  It’s apparent to me that work and I have some boundary issues right now.  So, much like I back away from the person standing too close, perhaps I need to put more trust and faith in my coworkers, and back away from work sometimes.  I have a feeling it will do both my family and me some good…

-Shan

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3 thoughts on “Relaxed and Anxious

    • oof. last comment was for the pirate cat blog…On this one though, all I can say is that you can’t get the time at SPI back but work will always be there. Not realizing that has cost me it has cost me dearly.

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