Victim or Victor? Play or Be Played?

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  I did as promised and did nothing but hang with my girlies… on Saturday.  Then I was back to my productive self on Sunday.  I have a hard time resting on my laurels for too long, especially when my house is a wreck.  I have found that I cannot truly be calm until I am in clean (aka, calm) surroundings.  Either way it was a good weekend, all around.  But, for me, it was a rather contemplative one since I just couldn’t get some things out of my head.

Friday was a sort of kismet day…  On my way in to work, I decided that instead of my regular NPR, I was in the mood for some tunes.  On the pop station I usually listen to, Dr. Phil was being interviewed.  Now, I’ve never really put much stock into the good doctor – I have an unopened copy of Self Matters collecting dust* on my bookshelf.  But, he was on the pop station morning show plugging his latest book, something about how to survive in the “real” world, and belive it or not, he was interesting so I kept listening. He was talking about how this world is tough, life is a game, and you can either play or be played.

Later that evening, I had drinks with two of my good friends.  What bonds the three of us is that despite our very different upbringings, we have all had similar life experiences that have shaped us, and made us who we are.  It makes us good sounding boards and confidants for each other.  One of these two friends is having a particularly hard time these days due to a pretty shitty situation, which led to some pretty deep conversation.  And wouldn’t you know it, during our conversation that darn Dr. Phil popped into my head, talking all about games and being played by life and the “real” world.

The conversation from Friday stuck with me over the weekend, and on my way in to work this morning I realized that I have been playing the victim quite a lot lately.  I’ve placed the blame for my unhappiness on others, and it’s not fair.  (And let’s not pretend like I’ve got it all that bad.  I know I have it pretty good.  I’m not that self-unaware.)

It’s never too late to start playing the game and stop allowing yourself to be played. We make a lot of excuses as to why we have no other choice.  But the fact is that we have the opportunity to make change happen each and every single day.  I am the one who is in control. I am the one who makes the decisions that affect me.  And I am going to make the most of this beautiful, crazy life.  Victim, no more.  So take that “real” world.  Score 1, Shannon.

Feeling newly empowered,


Note: Collecting dust is clearly a metaphor, as I don’t really for like things in my home to “collect dust” so to speak, and my bookshelf is dusted at least every other weekend.  So to say that the book is dusty is untrue, but you can gather from my metaphoric example that it has never been read.  My mother could have put $100 in there for me, as she’s the one who gave me the book, and I wouldn’t know.  Although, since she did also give my sister a copy of the book, one would surmise that she would also have placed $100 in her book as well.  And since my sister, who I know for a fact did read the book, never called me and said, “Hey, wanna go shopping with that $100 Mom gave us?”, I will assume that there is no money in the book.  Hence, no reason for me to open it. (Sorry Mom)  But, it does look nice on the bookshelf and gives me the appearance of being well-read.  Which I am.  I just didn’t read that particular book.  All the others I have read.  For the most part…  OK, so since I don’t like to fib let’s say 85% of the books on my shelf have been read by me.  Which is still pretty darn good.


2 thoughts on “Victim or Victor? Play or Be Played?

  1. Pingback: WILOW – The Value of Good Friends « This is Shan's Blog

  2. I like how it bothered you so much that people might think your house is dusty. it would bother me too. and that is why i like that you put a * next to dusty. and why i like you.

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