OK – that’s what you’re probably going to think when you read this post. But I’m sorry. Zombies are really hot right now. They are everywhere. Video games, movies, TV shows, CDC websites, books, everywhere. So I can’t avoid writing about my not-so-secret obsession about them and thinking about how I could perhaps make some major money off this thing.
I consider myself to be a fairly fashionable person. True, like everyone else I have some fashion skeletons in my closet (don’t act like you weren’t totally into those MC Hammer pants, too), but overall I feel that I dress pretty well. Which got me to thinking when the zombie apocalypse happens, women are totally going to need the right clothing! You can’t run from zombies in 5 inch heels. But I’m sure women such as myself would still like to wear fashionable shoes – so a line of comfortable, yet fashionable, zombie-ass-kicking boots is a necessity. And you’re going to need a cool vest or jacket to sheathe your machete in, which comes with hidden pockets for grenades and ammo for your sawed-off shotgun… Just because the world is coming to an end, that’s no reason to not be fashionable, people.
Then we come to vehicles. The hubs and I were discussing this last night. We live in Texas, so like every other self-respecting Texan we drive large vehicles – SUV mom-mobile for me (equipped with a grill guard), and truck for him. In any zombie invasion having the proper escape vehicle is key. And let’s face it – a Prius isn’t going to cut it. (No offense to anyone who drives a Prius, you’re already doing your part to ensure that the zombie apocalypse doesn’t begin courtesy of environmental disaster.) In this case, bigger truly is better. And, what would be better than coming out with an entire line of truck and SUV accessories like a grill guard and windshield cage equipped with spikes, blades, and other accoutrement designed to maim, dismember, and mow down those zombie assholes??
So, those are just a few of my ideas. Just know I’ve got some patents pending so don’t try to steal ‘em…
Ready to survive the zombie invasion,
Lastly, I did owe a correction to my previous post about fast zombies. Apparently it is possible to place a sail on a battleship, as I was informed by a friend of my husband, that in the Pyramid of Darkness series on GI Joe they did just that. I still have my doubts about the ability to quickly manufacture a sail of the magnitude that a battleship would need, but if GI Joe did it, then it can be done. I stand corrected. Whatever.