What I Learned on Wednesday. (Yes, I know it’s Thursday.)

It’s been a while since I posted a WILOW post, so I thought “Hey, why not?”
1. Sometimes the word is just plain messed up, as in the form of this pastor and his holy milk. Messed. Up. At first when my friend was telling me about this I thought, “This must be a joke. Certainly people didn’t really fall for this.” But unfortunately upon further research, it’s true.

2. I have a serious problem. I brought up the thing I fear most with my husband the other day to use them as a metaphor for something else, and my husband looked me square in the face and said “OK, you have really got to cool it with the zombies.” Even though it was a really good metaphor. But upon reviewing my past posts, I realized that I am in “Crazy Zombie Lady” territory. So, yes, I agree. I have got to cool it with the zombies. For a little bit anyway.

3. I may need a new wardrobe. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I dress fairly well.* But, my whole wardrobe for the most part is centered around my profession. Therefore, I’ve got a butt-load of business casual outfits. And with my new career change… Well… I may need some new clothes. Just sayin’.
-Shan
*Even those that dress fairly well can make some fashion mistakes. Take today for instance. I’m wearing dark brown boots when I think I should have gone for dark brown heels. But it was cold out, and my legs are so pale they are almost see-through so I opted for the boots. I don’t look tragic or anything, but when I saw myself in the mirror at work I thought “Hmmm, you could have done better.”

Reset Buttons

I have a very wise friend who has a theory about “reset buttons”.  It goes something like this:

Along this journey we call life; we are presented with reset buttons, an opportunity to reset the direction in which our life is headed.  These can come in many forms; a new job, the chance to get healthier, a break-up, a marriage, the decision to have children… It’s up to us to decide if we are ready and willing, and have the courage to press “Reset”.

I’ve had a large reset button looming in front of me for a while now.  And yesterday, I finally mustered up the courage to press it.  And I’m so much happier now that I have.

Yesterday I made the very difficult decision to leave my current employer.  A job that I love.  A career that I love.  Coworkers that I love.  A very stable paycheck, that let’s face it, I love.  But, in the end, I love my family more.  I love me more.

Kids are little mirrors of their parents.  About a month ago, I was working on my laptop at home and my oldest was playing “Mommy”.  The whole time she was playing “Mommy” she had her cell phone out (my old blackberry), was checking her email and holding conference calls, she had a little doll out and she would tell it things like “hold on baby, Mommy’s working”.  It was cute at first, and then I became horrified.  Horrified that her image of me, was an image of a Mommy that was always working.  Even when I wasn’t “working”.

My job (for one more month, anyway) is very demanding, and unfortunately the nature of the role requires that I spend a lot of time away from the people I love most in this world.  But I found that even when I was with them, I wasn’t “present” with them.  My mind was on my work, and I was resenting myself and my work for becoming so all-consuming.  For allowing myself to let “what I do for a living” define “who I am as a person”.

So, with that in mind, I decided it was time to “Reset”.  Control-Alt-Delete myself, so to speak.  I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’m confidant I’ll be a happier me and therefore a better Mommy, Wife, Sister, Daughter and Friend.  And that sounds pretty darn good.

-Shan

Yay! It’s Friday!

Hello friends! Thanks for sticking around while I’ve been MIA the past two weeks.  I had a work thing that kept me away, and while I thought that I would be able to post while I was there, the long days just didn’t allow for it.  That said, since I’m in a good mood I thought I would link up with Lauren at From My Grey Desk and say “High Five for Friday”!

1. It’s my anniversary today.  Ten years married to this man right here – I’m a lucky lady!

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2. I’m home!  I was away for work for 12 days, and while it was quite rewarding, I’m so happy to be home with the hubs and my little ladies.  I really missed them.

3. It’s a beautiful day and I have the day off.  So we went to the zoo!

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4. What girl doesn’t love a mani/pedi? (Even at the age of 4?)

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5. I’ve made a big decision that while it’s bittersweet, I’m very happy about.  More to come on that “Reset Button” (thanks Dan for the terminology) soon…

Wishing everyone out there a glorious weekend!

-Shan

 

I am a Zombie Hunter Action Figure

First off – Happy Friday everyone!  I hope that you all are enjoying the new year in good health.  What is up with the cold/flu epidemic that is sweeping the nation??  It seems like everyone, their mama and their baby-mama is sick!  The sickness even struck our house again during Christmas and New Year’s. 

Since it seems that 80% of the country is suffering from some sort of illness – I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps the Mayans had this whole “end of the world” thing right after all.   It’s just not happening as fast as we all imagined it would.  What if, just what if, this “flu” is really the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

Speaking of zombies… Knowing my irrational fear/obsession with the undead, my husband got me some zombie and zombie hunter action figures to keep on my desk at work.  They are awesome.  And what makes it even more awesome is that one of the hunters looks (almost) like me!

Me. In zombie hunter action figure form.

Me. In zombie hunter action figure form.

Me. In my non-zombie hunter attire.

Me. In my non-zombie hunter attire.

Does anyone else think that perhaps my scarf makes me look like a flight attendant?  Don’t get me wrong, I totally admire flight attendants, I actually at one time thought of becoming one, but it wasn’t quite the look I was going for today…

Anyway – here’s my action figure self in well, action:

Me: "You better check yourself zombie Bob Marley... Or else I will blow your muthafuckin' head off!"

Me: “You better check yourself zombie Bob Marley… Or I will blow your muthafuckin’ head off!”

Thanks to the hubs for providing me with 30 minutes worth of distraction at work yesterday!

-Shan

PS – I struggled a little with the caption for that last photo.  Leave me your suggestions in the comment line.  Since I have nothing of value to give away, best one gets a shout-out in a future post.  Not to mention really cool bragging rights…

Sleeping Babes

Is there any feeling as wonderful as holding your sleeping child?  While sleeping they look so angelic, so sweet, so calm.  Nothing like the crazy little hellions they were just mere hours prior.  (Just kidding, my angels never misbehave… Riiiiight.)

From the moment my two beautiful baby girls were born, this is one thing that I have tried hard to savor.   Those moments of holding them; smelling their little heads, studying every little curve of their faces, their little noses and long, dark eyelashes – I have taken mental snapshots of those moments and filed them in my memory bank because I know that unfortunately they won’t last.

Inside my head, the wheels are constantly in motion; making lists, thinking about what I need to do at work, what I’m going to wear the next day, or thinking about my zombie escape plan – it very rarely stops.  But, when I have those little moments of calm with my kiddos – I can truly relax. As I’m holding them or laying next to them while they are sleeping, I lose myself in looking at their amazing, tiny features and forget that our windows are unbarred and are an open invitation to any and all zombies who may be passing by.  Almost.

-Shan

F*** Yeah! I’m one excited Aggie tonight…

First of all, notice that I didn’t actually cuss in the title. That’s because I’m keeping it classy (San Diego), like my precious Texas Aggies. Who just beat the hell outta’ OU in the Cotton Bowl. Take that all you drinking the haterade, who said that A&M wouldn’t amount to crap in the SEC. Take that all you whiners that said your player was robbed of the Heisman. I truly wish you the best of luck playing Alabama (a team A&M beat, btw). I mean it, too (some of my best friends are Notre Damers). But, in this instance, I just have to gloat, because I totally personally had something to do with this win. So, f*** yeah!

That is all… Enough pretending that I really know anything at all about football.

-Shan

Anyone who is familiar with Texas football knows that it’s been a few seasons since A&M fans have had much to gloat about.  (Especially as an Aggie married to a Longhorn, with two Longhorn brothers and a Longhorn brother-in-law).  So I am soooo enjoying this opportunity to talk crap when I am usually the one upon whom crap is talked.  And don’t worry – this will probably be my only football related post.  Because I really know nothing about football. But I do know one hell of a win when I see one!!

Resolutions…

Resolutions are funny things.  Just about all of us make them in some form of fashion – very rarely do many of us keep them.  In retrospect, for me at least, I think it’s because my resolutions have always been too vague.  Like, “I’d like to lose some weight”, or “I’d like to spend more time with family”.  They’ve never been specific, or more precisely, they lacked the words “I will”.  This year is different.  This year, resolution number one is – I will keep my resolutions.

I will spend more quality time with my husband and daughters.

I will give myself more opportunities to be creative.

I will speak my mind (respectfully, I’m a lady dammit) when the situation calls for it.

I will let go of unhealthy relationships.

I will stay in better contact with my friends.

I will clean the litter box more often (instead of always letting my husband do it – I think it’s causing some feelings of resentment in him towards the cat).

Happy New Year to you all – here’s to hoping we can all keep our resolutions (or at least one of them).  And heck, we have already survived at least 3 or 4 “end of the world” moments in the past few years – if we can do that, there’s no reason why we can’t make 2013 one hell of a year!

-Shan