Decisions, Decisions…

The end of the world, December 21st.

I don’t typically take doomsday predictions seriously, but this one has had me wondering, what is going to happen? “Probably nothing”, my rational mind tells me…but what if?  What if the world implodes/explodes?  What if The Day After Tomorrow happens and we get thrown into some weird climate change?  And the scariest of all – what if December 21st marks the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

If that weren’t enough, after reading this the other day, I realized – I need to figure out what to wear!  I’ll be on vacation on the 21st so I won’t be at work, which means I have options:

1. Do I want to look fierce?

While looking fierce has the advantage of, well, looking fierce – it’s not the most comfortable of options.  For me, looking fierce usually involves heels and a pencil skirt or dress of some kind.  And ironing.  I hate ironing.  If I’m going to go down in some sort of fiery explosion or get sucked into a giant tornado, as I’m either exploding or being sucked away, hopefully my husband’s last thought will be, “Damn, my wife looked hot.”

But, if I’m going to have to be fighting for the survival of myself and my loved ones, it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. For that, I’d need something comfortable, which brings me to…

2. Do I want to go cute but casual?

Logistically speaking, this one seems to make the most sense. In the case that the 21st does mark the beginning of the zombie apocalypse, catastrophic climate change, or it’s all out nuclear war and we’re plunged into some sort of Hunger Games scenario – casual yet functional seems to be the way to go.   However, if it’s going to be the last wardrobe change I’ll have for a while, I’ll need to like it. I’m not sure what the weather will be like (mental note, check weather for the 21st), but I’m thinking layers would be the right thing to wear.  Plus I got a cute sweater today that I’m looking forward to wearing – it would be perfect for the end of the world.

Or…

3. Do I want to go totally comfortable and observe the end of the world while in my pajamas? 

Ideally, on the 21st I’ll be able to just veg with the hubs and my girls, wrap gifts, drink hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies all day.  And nothing is more appropriate for that than pajamas. My JCrew pajamas, (of course), but pajamas none the less.

Come to think of it, this by far sounds like the best option.  But I’ll keep my zombie fighting jacket, cute new sweater and boots handy, just in case…

Ready to face the end of the world in style,

Shan

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And Again with the Zombies…

OK – that’s what you’re probably going to think when you read this post.  But I’m sorry.  Zombies are really hot right now.  They are everywhere.  Video games, movies, TV shows, CDC websites, books, everywhere. So I can’t avoid writing about my not-so-secret obsession about them and thinking about how I could perhaps make some major money off this thing.

I consider myself to be a fairly fashionable person.  True, like everyone else I have some fashion skeletons in my closet (don’t act like you weren’t totally into those MC Hammer pants, too), but overall I feel that I dress pretty well.  Which got me to thinking when the zombie apocalypse happens, women are totally going to need the right clothing!  You can’t run from zombies in 5 inch heels.  But I’m sure women such as myself would still like to wear fashionable shoes – so a line of comfortable, yet fashionable, zombie-ass-kicking boots is a necessity.  And you’re going to need a cool vest or jacket to sheathe your machete in, which comes with hidden pockets for grenades and ammo for your sawed-off shotgun…  Just because the world is coming to an end, that’s no reason to not be fashionable, people.

Then we come to vehicles.  The hubs and I were discussing this last night.  We live in Texas, so like every other self-respecting Texan we drive large vehicles – SUV mom-mobile for me (equipped with a grill guard), and truck for him.  In any zombie invasion having the proper escape vehicle is key.  And let’s face it – a Prius isn’t going to cut it. (No offense to anyone who drives a Prius, you’re already doing your part to ensure that the zombie apocalypse doesn’t begin courtesy of environmental disaster.)  In this case, bigger truly is better.  And, what would be better than coming out with an entire line of truck and SUV accessories like a grill guard and windshield cage equipped with spikes, blades, and other accoutrement designed to maim, dismember, and mow down those zombie assholes??

So, those are just a few of my ideas.  Just know I’ve got some patents pending so don’t try to steal ‘em…

Ready to survive the zombie invasion,

Shan

Lastly, I did owe a correction to my previous post about fast zombies.  Apparently it is possible to place a sail on a battleship, as I was informed by a friend of my husband, that in the Pyramid of Darkness series on GI Joe they did just that.  I still have my doubts about the ability to quickly manufacture a sail of the magnitude that a battleship would need, but if GI Joe did it, then it can be done.  I stand corrected.  Whatever.